Can not dance

Okay my secret is out I cannot dance. I have tried to get my groove on but moving and swaying looks as if I'm imitating poor Stevie Wonder. It doesn't matter if it's a slow dance or a fast dance I look like I need to go the bathroom. Without trying to be politically incorrect Latinos and African Americans make us white people look lame.My husband and I actually went once to a dancing class that offered to teach the cha cha, the tango,and something else I'd rather not remember. How difficult could that be? Apparently once they show you the steps they assume you can then execute them with some practice dancing around in a counterclockwise circle with these other smiling couples who look like they are enjoying themselves.Well I tried to smile and move in the appointed direction but after that my feet seemed to forget what was demonstrated previously.My husband was a very good leader but I was not a very good follower. Unfortunately I began to giggle in order to hide my red faced embarrassment. That's when things began to rapidly deteriorate. My giggles grew into rather hysterical laughter calling even more attention to my attempts to look like I knew what I was doing (not). The dance instructor glanced in our direction looking somewhat perplexed with the commotion. His instinct of course was to help. Big mistake. I grew even more self conscious of people looking in our direction and I could not seem to concentrate so I just began to step about randomly making pretend I knew what I was doing still trying to smile. My poor patient husband by this time began to lose it and began hissing at me to relax and watch his feet. He seemed to get it right away and was really trying to patiently lead this rather uncoordinated hysterically laughing woman. I couldn't wait for it to be over and began to feel a little sweaty. Luckily then it was time to take a break and have some refreshments. He asked me if I would like to just leave but I did not want to disappoint him and agreed to give it another try. For awhile I said maybe we could just watch the other dancers and then resume.So eventually we gave it another try and I began to again laugh hysterically. Game over. Somehow, and I know not how, we managed to survive my hysteria and uncoordinated feet until it was over. My husband was very calm and said don't worry about it. I couldn't understand how he caught on so fast and I didn't. Our efforts at learning to dance for our daughter's upcoming wedding were a failure.All we wanted to do was not look like drunken orangutans. It reminded me of that Seinfeld episode where Elaine thought she could dance and looked like a spaz and didn't know it. I knew I was a spaz and I knew I couldn't dance. Regardless that will remain one of my favorite episodes and we did manage to dance at our daughter's wedding with out causing too much of a scene.