Facing Reality

I have worked at the same job now for twenty years. I never thought I would stay at any job that long until I realized that accumulating a retirement pension needed serious planning and consideration. I guess it comes down to investing in the future and wanting to eventually be unencumbered to really enjoy life.
I think I began to feel unhappy about having to wait at least another two years before it would be financially feasible to retire. That disappointment evolved into an attitude of being on short time but not soon enough... I realize now it does no good to want something that is still out of my reach. It then occurred to me how easy it is to make myself miserable.
There is alot going on with budget cuts by the County which I work for. I doubt they will cut my job however in the long term the powers that be may be considering privatizing mental health services because it is getting too expensive to fund us.This has also contributed to me having a bad attitude. There has been an aching emphasis on seeing as many people as possible, units of service, generating revenue. Clinical focus has become secondary. I am very old school when it comes to how I view therapy and working with clients in counseling. It has become increasing irreconcilable to me and I am struggling.
The combination of wishing I could retire yesterday and the emphasis on units of service has left me feeling burned out. I need to recharge my batteries on the weekends and just try to live in the moment, not think about the looming of another Monday.
Don't get me wrong, I give it my all. The investment I have in wanting to help other people remains my number one priority. I 'm just a bit weary of having to face reality.