Full of Grace

Hail Mary,saying grace at the dinner table,whatever.The dictionary defines grace as; kindheartedness,pleasing,agreeable,altruism,generous,helpful.I think it's a bit more complicated than that.It is something I have been thinking about alot lately.The world and society can be very challenging in terms of how we interpret behavior, both our own and other individuals.Assertiveness is a quality we encourage,standing up for oneself and expressing feelings. I'm a little worried and confused because this does not quite line up with the definition of grace.

Grace is a quality I would like to strive for, however there are aspects of my personality and outlook on life which may require a major overhaul.I try to give people the benefit of a doubt and be tolerant. I feel I have a growing awareness of this importance.Trying to be understanding of other people's perspectives in a non-judgemental and accepting way. Unfortunately society no longer recognizes this as important.It is hard sometimes when your values and perceptions have a different viewpoint. When you grow up in an urban environment the impersonal nature of everyday interactions becomes the norm. You can still be polite but being vulnerable can be unrealistic (or unsafe). It is still possible to show kind gestures but in the everyday world that has been slowly diminishing. Obviously it is quite different when we are around friends and family,people whom we trust and feel secure with. It is much more difficult to practice this out in public.

I, myself have my own list of rules for survival which mostly relates to my sense of propriety and personal space. I do not like people " up in my grill" and I have noticed that alot of other people are oblivious to their own personal space or how their behavior might effect others.Unfortunately, there are more instances of people being unaware and/ or not really caring. Do you say something or just display a forced smile? This is where I experience most of my difficulty because when other people act like jerks I tend to want to treat them like jerks because otherwise how are they going to know they are behaving like a jerk.I guess I have problems with people who act inconsiderate,knowing at times they may not be aware but at other times not really caring. Several examples most of us may have encountered are people who leave their shopping cart in the middle of the aisle and you either choose to patiently wait and then say excuse me or just physically assert yourself.Shouldn't they be the one who says excuse me?I also experience people being rather rude and thoughtless and I really believe they probably don't give a shit. Using the last of something and not bothering to replenish the item.This also tends to occur often in the work setting. I will stop now before I go off on one of my famous rants which I am known for in the family because I really am trying very hard to let petty annoyances go, but it is still very challenging at times because assertiveness is something I tend to value. So I think in order to act with more grace I will need to be conscious of my level of annoyance and that may be a clue for me that my attitude may be getting the best of me. The days of kicking ass and taking names will hopefully be less of my m.o. because I don't think it is working for me. In order to change behavior you have to ask yourself "Is this working" as an approach to getting along in life or and if you answer honestly that it isn't then it is time to consider change. I really try to be a nice person when I can. Never the less passivity has never been part of who I am. "It's nice to be nice to the nice".