As far back as my memory permits, I recall being more than okay with being alone with myself. I have never had a problem amusing myself and whether some one is with me does not seem to generate any thoughts of desperation or loneliness. It may be my quest to remain emotional independent but I realize I do need "people", perhaps in smaller doses than the average person. I think they call it "low need for affiliation".
If I was left alone for days in my house and didn't talk with anyone I don't think I would notice or really care. Perhaps it may be my ambivalence toward people. I think I like people (sometimes), but I have my own center and I don't rely on people to fulfill me or my needs. I an not a wounded bird, just a consummate loner.
I have my share of emotional intimacy with people I am close with that I love and trust. Maybe that's really it, trust. I think I do have some trust issues based on some experiences throughout my life which likely did shape some of my attitudes and perceptions. At least I know this as an awareness thing but honestly, most of us have some emotional baggage. Mine is fairly accurately itemized.
There is nothing wrong with being an introvert. I am not the one with a gaggle of people around me competing for attention, but I am a very good listener so when I am one on one with some one I feel I am attentive and capable of holding up my end of the conversation but truly I tend to find it exhausting. After awhile I find myself trying to find a gracious way of ending the conversation and being on my way. There are people though whom I find amusing and interesting where that doesn't necessarily occur. I think when I realize I have something in common with someone I could even talk their ear off.
Self acceptance of who we are should make it okay to understand our own personalities and not try to be someone we are not. I believe most of us possess a core personality that cannot really be changed and perhaps that self acceptance should be permitted rather that trying to be something or someone we are not.
Autumn Time In Quincy
6 years ago
3 comments:
Know thyself. :-) Sounds like you do.
Pearl
Another interesting one here. I am fine on my own, but it depends whose company I lack as to whether or not being on my own bothers me. There are some people the absence of whom bothers me more when they leave and it takes me longer to adjust. There are others who are forgotten the moment they step out the door. I need a balance of the two to appreciate my own company.
I am an introvert, but I want to have lots of company too, so it's a constant struggle with me. IT's very weird, but I think I want to be extroverted, but then again, more willing to be alone. Hmmm...
Michael.
Do you hate it too?
"If you're going through Hell, keep going."
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