Neighbors

I've always been curious regarding urban dwellers ignoring of each other even when they may be neighbors on the same hallway or floor. How can someone live in such close proximity and still avoid eye contact or not occasionally swap pleasantries? I grew up in the suburbs of Boston where neighbors and friends were made easily. The only part that made me uncomfortable was people having rather intimate knowledge about my business as I tend to be a private person.

Many years ago my husband and I made a decision to move away from life in the fast lane wanting a more quiet and tranquil setting in the country. We found ourselves in a rural area of Northern New York where reliance on one's neighbors is just a part of life. The man who is a rural mail carrier drives up to our mailbox (nearly) everyday and probably knows alot about us based on the types of correspondence delivered. What types of magazines we read, who we owe money to, and what type of items we order through the mail. He lives 2 - 3 houses up the street and although we don't converse there is always a friendly wave. I wonder if he goes home and tells his wife we seem to get alot of bills from J C Penney's, or that we attended this college or that. I don't think we are very interesting people.

We have an older gentleman who lives further up our road whom we affectionately call the "Mayor". He usually has some type of project going on and is always interested in swapping news or asking about the family. During a disastrous ice storm 8 or 10 years ago he was able to find a company that still had power generators for sale and when he bought his he picked up an extra one for us. We tell him when we are going away and to keep an eye on the property which he does without any bother. My husband helped him put a new roof on his outbuilding that had collapsed last winter from the heavy snow that accumulated.

Neighbors are often an odd collection of people whom we may not always have a great deal in common with other than living close by, but they can also be so kind, unselfish, and willing to help without expecting anything in return. We watch our neighbor's elderly black lab when they go away for the weekend. When our own Husky died two years ago their dog became a healing opportunity for us to nurture another dog, laugh and her antics and just have a dog to pat and give affection to. It really helped us with missing our dog that had died.

We live in an area where deer hunting is a part of the culture. We have a neighbor friend who always gives us some of his deer venison. We sometimes ask to store things in their large freezer when I buy extra during the holidays or have frozen baked goods cooked ahead for special occasions. Their son has borrowed our yard truck to haul and cut wood on their property. I have given the women a ride to work on my way to my own job when their car was in the shop for repair.

There are of course exceptions. There is a weird sort of guy who lives around the corner who has made it fairly clear he does not want anyone trespassing on his property, keeps all the house shades and curtains shut tight and if he sees you coming up the road will stop what he is doing outside and run back in his house.

We have neighbors who own a few horses and during the summer we can hear the horses whinnying and think that is great, however they have a stupid dog that seems scared of everything and barks incessantly so sometimes we just scream real loud, "shut up". They usually take the dog in the house then. They send their daughter over when it is time to buy Girl Scout Cookies.

There is a local human service agency that bought a very nice house up the street and turned it into a group home for disabled adults. Once in awhile they take out a few of the fellas for a walk when it is nice out. Sometimes though, when you walk by you can hear strange moans and cries which is a bit disconcerting. When it was publicized the house was to be turned into a group home some of the neighbors were upset about what it might do to the neighborhood but nothing bad happened and no one is bothered.

When we built our house on this lovely grassy knoll we became the object of curiosity. We had lived for a few years in the old farm house across the way but putting up a new house was a big deal I guess in the neighborhood. One by one they all stopped by to check it out. Years later when we put up a three car garage that also became the object of curiosity and now several other home owners have erected their own three car garages, apparently a sign of affluence. When we began to landscape the property with flowers and shrubs we also began to see other neighbors had the same idea. It probably increased property values for all of us except the shambled, abandoned hovel that abuts our property. Some of the neighbors grumble they wish it would burn down.

The weather is beginning to grow nicer out again and I imagine I will encounter some neighbors whom I haven't seen very much over the long cold winter and we will engage in catching up on the latest news or as some might say "gossip". Our old farm house is currently being renovated so I'll have to make a stop down there to check it out.